I am not ashamed of what PPD has done to me - I have never been quiet about my illness and I never will. I'm saddened to hear that people at my work have been discussing my capabilities and talking about me in a negative light. I don't know how this information was passed along - most likely Facebook, but it really frustrates me because I am trying to help people by being forthright with my illness, and it comes to bite me in the butt. Work wants to know if I'm okay to drive...if I'm okay to be with the residents...if I'm okay to handle outings. I guess I asked for this to happen, since I have written a lot about how PPD has hindered me.
Other than this my work meeting went well. I really should watch what I write on here, but I will give a run down. They offered me a part time position as a Recreation Director (same position I had) 2 days per week. I will say that I am happy with the position, just wish it could be a few more hours per week to help out financially. They want me to have my psychiatrist sign off on the job description before I start work, which I guess I understand. A little bit degrading, but I see where they are coming from.
I don't want to say I regret anything I've written on the internet, but I regret the image that is now out there of me. Poor crazy Amanda. Amanda who cries during work meetings because she's unstable. Amanda who can't be left alone with her daughter for fear that she will hurt herself or the baby. Amanda who once was not allowed to drive because of medication issues. The list goes on. And I've put all this information, all this dirty laundry, out there for YOU to read and see that a) you're not alone if you have PPD and/or b) you can understand PPD better. That is my cause and I will not be ashamed about it. Screw anyone who thinks less of me.
Speaking of my cause, I have also started a new Facebook group that I would love for people to join! It's called Postpartum Depression Support Niagara, and even if you are not in the Niagara Region please look us up and join up - you can chat with other mom's and I'm hoping to get some good links and information up there. We are going to have get togethers (probably every other week) and I would love to meet some new people if there are people out there that are within driving distance. I thank you in advance for joining!!
Stay strong! PPD and other mental illnesses seem to be completely misunderstood. It's a shame that mental illness has such a stigma attached. I'm sorry that it's following you and making your life more difficult. I hope by starting the support group you can find even more support and strength to prove everyone wrong! We'll all be there for you, if not in person, at least in spirit!
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is, let people say and think what they want! Unless you have suffered from this, you have no clue. No clue! What you're doing is amazing Amanda. Keep going. Don't give up!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear that you will not be ashamed. Mental illness is not something that people ask for nor would i wish it on anyone. That being said, I have learned so much about myself since being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I have learned how strong i can be even in those moments of "weakness", I have learned who my friends really are and who is willing to be there for me when it really matters. I've learned how to be compassionate to others with depression/anxiety and empathic to those living with other mental health issues that I have no way of understanding what they deal with. Ultimately my mental illness has made me a better, stronger, smarter and a more grateful person than i ever could have been. Amanda i am so proud of how you are coping with your illness and while it is difficult you are standing strong against the social stigma that society has placed on mental health. Continue to stand with your chin up (or when life brings you to your knees...pray) and be grateful for all the lessons you have and will learn. Love you~!
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