Dazed and Confused...?

So I've made it through alive. 12 hours since my treatment and I'm here to talk about it. I didn't know what to expect when I arrived, but I will talk you through it now, to fill everyone in.

I woke up at 4:30 am...yikes. Didn't get much sleep last night - I'm not allowed to take my sleeping pill because of ECT, and I was too nervous to sleep. At 5 am I got picked up by Wendy (the church volunteer who is driving me). We stopped to pick up my mom, then headed over to St. Joseph's for 6:00 am.

When you arrive they assign you a stretcher (they are all lined up against the wall), and start an IV on you. You wait there until they are ready, then the porters take you down to a different floor (not sure the name..?), where there is a row of bays (just little stations) separated by curtains. I was put in the first one this time, because I was new and they didn't know how I would take to it.

They put electrodes all over your body, to monitor your seizure activity. Then they rub your forehead down with alcohol, to prep for the pads to be put on your temples. Everything is hooked up to the machine, the pads are placed on your temples, and the anesthetist injects something that really burns into your IV (I think it was the muscle relaxant?). After that, I fell asleep.

I woke up, thinking that I had somehow "missed" my treatment. There was no way it was over. I felt as though I had just closed my eyes for a single moment, but yet 10 minutes had passed. It was a very strange feelings, very surreal. My mom was standing there and told me what had happened. She told me that I had seizured for 2 minutes, which was very good in terms of ECT. Everything went off without a hitch, and I responded very well.

The first thing I noticed physically when I woke up was how much my jaw hurt - it felt as though I had clenched it for 12 hours straight and finally released. Quite painful. Other than that I did not have any other physical symptoms...no fatigue, no headache, nothing. I also had very little memory loss - I had a hard time remembering what took place yesterday, but once I thought hard enough about it, it all came back. I was shocked (pun intended) at how "normal" I felt afterwards, but also a little discouraged. In my books, if you don't feel any side effects from the treatments, than it must not be working. I know this isn't true, but I can't seem to believe in anything else. Any encouragement in this area would be appreciated!

So there it is...ECT in a nutshell. Overall I feel like it was a successful first go-round, and I look forward to some real results over the next 6 weeks. They say that it takes about 6 treatments (so, 3 weeks) to notice any changes. So I'm trying to hold onto that ray of hope...that just because I wasn't miraculously healed today, that it won't not work for me in a few weeks from now.

So what else is going on in my life? Well, considering the fact that I love to live in chaos (according to my counselor), I have entered into a new venture. I am taking a SugarBrig sugaring course this weekend...then offering free sugaring for the month of December to practice, and opening my own sugaring business in January. I know the timing isn't perfect, but this was my last chance to get in before Christmas, and this is something that I really wanted to do in the New Year. I have named my company BARE by Braun, and I truly hope that this will be a successful thing for me to enjoy. I plan on running everything out of my house to make things comfortable to both myself and the clients. If you are reading this and I haven't already invited you to my free sugaring event, please email me or comment and I would be happy to have you in for some free sugaring! :)

There you have it, the synopsis of Amanda Braun. I will continue to update my blog as the treatments progress, to keep everyone informed. I appreciated every single comment and word of encouragement, so please do keep those coming! I never get sick of them! Thanks to everyone for reading, and I hope you continue on this journey with me.