So it was Adelyn's birthday this week - pretty exciting stuff. I hosted her birthday party on Monday and surprisingly everything went very well. I handled it with some ease and didn't find myself wanting to run out of the room screaming (like I have in the past with other functions). I planned, I organized, and I executed like a regular human being. It was quite nice. Adelyn was of course the star of the show, and loved every minute of it! She's such a ham.
On another note, it was back to reality for me this week because I started back at work. I think everyone was sort of holding their breath to see whether or not this was going to break me (and understandably so). Thankfully I haven't been beaten down yet, although going back to work is a challenge. I am spoiled currently because Chelsea lives-in and therefore I don't have to truck Adelyn off to daycare in the morning, I can just hand her over and leave. It works out quite nice. Unfortunately I won't have Chelsea forever, so I will have to be a big girl and look at my day care options. As of right now, Chelsea will be going down to 4 days per week in the middle of June...I don't know how I feel about that quite yet, but I have a few weeks to decide!
I wonder how it feels for "normal" women to go back to work after having a baby...do they pine all day for their little one? Do they call home 5 times to see how they are doing? Do they just get through their work day because they have to and rush home to see their babies? Is it wrong to say that I enjoyed being at work? Yes, it was a little hard to leave Adelyn (especially after the big kisses she gave me!), but once I was at work I found I was so focused that it was nice to have the mental and physical break from caring for Adelyn. I texted once to see how she was, but other than that I wasn't worried - I knew she was well taken care of and that I had to focus on work. I really like my new job and am getting used to all the new people and places. I don't know how my experience chalks up to someone who has not had my afflictions, but I would imagine I'm somewhat in the realm of normal....?
Note to self...there is no such thing as "normal".
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Sounds perfectly normal to me. I haven't gone back to work yet, but I imagine I too would enjoy the company of adults for once. Some mommyies love staying home with their kids, and some are better mommies are better mommies when they are able to escape for a while and be themselves for once.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Synch. I wanted to add that going back to work is challenging for any new mom, PPD or not. I went back in November, and found that it was very freeing, even when my PPA in full force. I found that I really loved being able to go out and get that adult interaction and still continue my career. Are there days where I can't wait to get away from Logan? Absolutely (especially when he's teething.) Should we feel bad about that? My take is that some women, to be the best moms they can be, NEED those kinds of breaks from their children. I don't think there's any reason to feel guilty about that when you are doing what's best for you and your family.
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